Signature Sin

"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will turn back to you." Psalm 51:10-13

These verses were in my Bible study last week and the words keep playing over and over in my head. I have had a hard week dealing with my emotions and letting the daily tasks of life overwhelm me. I feel like I can't get it all done...there are just too many directions in which I'm being pulled. The end result is me sitting on the couch staring at the wall and just not caring about anything. I know I should be able to live with the craziness of life and still love Jesus with all my heart, but instead I go go go until my batteries run out and all that is left is a blurry memory of a week or even a month at times.....all the while not really living and experiencing life the way God has intended me to. I call this my "signature sin". I heard that term a few months back and I love it because it really makes sense for me. The amount of time always varies, but the end result is always the same...a screeching halt followed by the weight of the world on my shoulders. Anxiety sets in, worry, guilt, pressure, and I just throw my hands up. Do you ever feel like you struggle with the same things over and over again...no matter how hard you try to avoid it? Well, these verses have been so encouraging for me. I especially love "Restore to me the joy of your salvation..." While I'm in moments of victory I want to be able to rejoice and thank God for allowing me to experience joy, not worry about the next time I will fail. I am going to keep taking one day, one hour, one minute at a time and asking God to restore to me the joy of His salvation. It's so worth it!